Dec 31, 2009

It was a very challenging year for me.
Thanks to all the countless prayers and blessing from friends and relatives, I managed to go through all obstacle and move on.

I wish year 2010 a quiet and peaceful year for me.
I wish my family, relative and friends be healthy and happy.
I wish to be more patient to all people and things that I do.

I am very blessed. I must cherish and be contented.
I have what I wanted and should not be greedy to ask for anything more.

I need to clear my brain storage before year 2010 come...only keep happy memories.
That's my wish to all - Be Happy, Be Yourself. Love yourself to be able to love the others.

Cheers!

It's time to think about options.......

I have been making ways to other people all my life. Maybe is time for me to be selfish and think for myself.

Appreciated friends that given me their sincere advise which I think are politically right in a way.

I think age is catching up. I became more cautious than before in many things I do.
I hate feeling in secure. I always plan on the things i do or the path I am heading to and will make sure I have a back up plan if I fail. That's me - Kiasu Piggy!

Maybe I should be walk out of my comfort zone and be more adventurous.......what you think?

August 11, 2009

I was awarded 10 years service + $$ this afternoon but I am not happy at all.
Looking at the faces around me in the conference room, I am speechless.
I dump the red envelope on my desk after the "celebration" and con't working. I only open it closed to end of my shift. Looking at the certificate remind me of Ferin. I remembered she was very excited when she got her award and was counting the $$ infront of everyone. I open up my envelope as well, took out the money and start counting 1,2,3,4.....10! Suddenly I was happy for that 5 mins. Not because of the money but because of the old good memories.

I really miss the old days....
I didn't make any speech this afternoon but i would like to say something here:-
I wanted to thanks my managers:-
Steve & Trinia - Thanks for the opportunity to have me joined your team although I am not that "qualified". The 1st 2 years in bowne was very challenging. Your support and encouragement make me have more confident in doing my job.
Gary Judd - You have lead and show me a very good example of being a good superior. I have learnt alot from you. You are always positive and patient. I had a very great time working with you . The happiest time i am with bowne was from the time i joined till you left us and went back to London.
Lerma - You are always very supportive and let me have the freedom to do what i want on the job (ofcourse within the limits la, hahah). You continue to build up my confident and have trust in the decision i make for jobs. Thanks for your faith in me and sometime I find this a little pressurize coz I find I cannot fail you......
Trinia - My ACSM and later a work buddy. Although i always "bully" you after you re-joined the BSI CS team but I know you know i care alot of you inside my heart. I am someone that also dunno how to express my love and concern specially to the peoples I really treasured.

Next I wanted to thanks CP - although you always your mood swing but you taught me alot as well.
Janet - Thanks for being such a good friends for so many years. Cant believe you are 10 yrs older than me!!!!Hahhaha.
Damian - Seeing you always reminded me when I 1st join Bowne. Thanks for being such a good "sister" too. hahahha!

Last, thanks to many other people in Bowne (although your name was not mentioned above doesn't mean you are not important).

Without all of you, there will be no Florence Phua in Bowne today!

Thank you once again to all my friends in Bowne.

Wedding Dinner

Attended Jimmy niece's wedding this evening.
She thanks her dad for his providing these years and thanks her mum for loving her so much.
She is the eldest and the only grand daughter in the Quek family. I always tot she is quite a spoil child (by the way, her parent was divorced). Spoil in a way that she take her parent's unconditional love for granted.

But this evening, I was touch by her speech. After being a mother for almost 3 years, i can feel how her parent felt this evening. Seeing their only daughter from a girl to a wife and later becoming a mum. I saw tears in her parent's eyes. Tears that is not sad but happy. Happy not becoz of their love is being acknowledged but becoz she said to her parent : I LOVE YOU!

What a beautiful words~simple but sometime it's hard to say it out.
I always wanted to tell mu dad and mum how much i love them but never once i have the courage to do so.
I wanted to do it on my wedding day but i had Damian to do on my behalf. What a useless me!
This will be one of my regret forever for not being brave enough that time to tell my parent infront of my relatives and friends, how much I love and miss and always wanted to be with them. There are too much things I wanted to thank them for making what I am today (although not perfect but can do la).

I am still trying to build my courage to tell my parent how much I love them. I already miss once and do not want to miss twice. Praying Lord to give me the courage and the right timing to do so. Please hold my tears when I am doing this so I can be clear with my speech and they can hear every single words out from me.

Dad~ I Love you.
Mum~ I love you.
Iggy~ Mummy love you.
My dear husband~ I love you!
Last but not least, to all my cousins, aunties, uncles and friends ~ I love you all...............

Daydreaming......

It was pouring outside and I am day dreaming....

I am sitting at the balcony overseeing the sea view. Having tea with my family, watching the little ones playing in the garden, chasing my 3 little 4 legged daughters. All having good time.

Dad and mum cant stop smiling looking at their grandchildrens. Jimmy & Choon join in the play with the kids. YM and me planning for our next family vocation....

What a beautiful scene!

If you ask me to choose my precious moment, this will be the one.
I love being with all my love one. I enjoy seeing them together having funs. I enjoy seeing the smiling face put on my parent. All this make me feel complete and calm. All this make my heart smile and my face shine. All this my motivation to live and be strong.

I want Iggy (my nieces too) to learn the important and value of family time.
He will be on the right track if he has this value in mind.

So much so that I want him to be independant but I found a few of my friends who was sent to study overseas seems to loose this value in mind. They show more respect, concern and willing to spent more time with friends than their family members. For married couples, they only care about family time with their partners and their kids, not with their parents or siblings.

Most of my friends of the same age or older will have this value in mind. They will visit their parents with their kids over the weekend. Met them up for lunch or dinner etc. This group of people tends to looks happier and "rich" in living.

So, I must start teaching my son what my parent used to teach me when I am young but of course must modify a bit to suit the new generation kids la!

Piggy & Piglet

Piggy gave birth to piglet at the age of 38.
Piglet will soon turn 3 and Piggy will then 41.
Piglet is very active. Piggy find it's hard to catch up with him.
Piggy started to worry how long can she be there for Piglet. She wanted to see piglet graduate and get a good job. She wanted to witness piglet get married & be able to see the birth of her grandchildren.

Piggy started to pray...
She pray God to let her have enough time to accomplish her misson before calling her home.
She pray to leave peacefully, best is in her dream.
She worry Mr Piggy will be lonely after she left. She is afraid she is not that strong as she thought to let Mr Piggy go before her. She ask God for mercy.. to let Mr Piggy and her go home together.....

Piggy had a dream after the prayers.
She dreamt of an angle telling her the cycle of life.
She finally understand the message God send to her:
Dont worry about tomorow. Live everyday to the fullest.
Dont take thing for granted. Appreciate the people and things around you.
Express and tell the people you concern that you love them.
What ever will come, will come.
It's only a short while I will let you be in this planet.
You may face some ups and downs in life but these are the test from me to make you stronger.
Do whatever that will make you happy and feel great.

You must have faith in me. I am with you everywhere, everyday and every second.

Do not leave any regrets before coming home.

When you finally united with me, I would want to share your happy memories from that planet.

My 10 yrs in B

It will be my 10 yrs in this Company come August 1st.
Time flies! I never thought I can work here for sooooooooooooooo long.
Maybe I really like the job? Maybe I am not good at job hopping? Or maybe ......

The truth is this job did bring satisfaction to me. Work enviroment & peoples were great.
Yes, you read it correctly. Were, not are coz things totally changed after SARS.
Good team players left and new faces in. Management from good to $#%$%&^*.

And so why are you still here? Dont you consider yourself lucky that you are not affected after few rounds of RIF?
I am still here becoz I am too comfortable in this comfort zone. I am not sure if I have the courage for another change unless it is necessary. Yes, I am blessed that I am still here after few rounds of RIF. But there is something that I used to enjoy and look forward going to work is missing!

Just got a news that one of my team member quit. Which mean our manpower is lean agian. I am not sure if I can go back to the same working speed that I used to work before being a mother. I am not sure how long more can I hang there. My internal spare parts is rusting, just like a car, best to scrap after 10 years.

I need some changes.... I need to put my thinking into action. I need.......................
Well, let's see how it goes after August 1st.....

Friends

I wonder how people define a friend. I have friends who has many many friends, all over the world. If you happen to log into their FB, you can easily see hundred of friends in their friend list.

What does a friend means?

To me a friend means I can share my joys and worries. Can listen to me when i need them and be my side when i need comfort. Can tolerate my nonsense and yell back to STOP me from getting worse. Will correct me on the spot without worring if I am offended.

I am not a person that can gel easily to new friends. I tend to "hide" myself when i am in a big group of people that I am not familiar.
I will only be "alive" when I am with people that I known for years. That's why most of my friends are friends that known me for more than 10 years.

I have friends that we dont call each other often. Maybe only once a year.
We called when we "realised" it has been a while we didn't hear from each other.
May it be just a 1 mins call just to say Hi, that's more than enough. We all know we will be there for each other when needed. Our freindship will not be fated even we dont call often.

I have friends that I used to call almost everyday. Regardless if I am at work or on holidays. They are just like part of my daily rountine. Sometime I think they get "enough" of me and started yelling me to STOP calling. But I still enjoy being scolded and happily continue calling just to make sure everyone is doing well and I did not miss anything thats happending with or around them.

I do not have hundreds of friend like others. I only have these friends that i can count with all my fingers and toes.
I am not ambitious and consider myself quite contended. I do not think I need to open up my circle to sell myself for better prospect/$$ or what so ever. I have enough and happy with what I have.

I will be there when they need me. I will walk with them thru their ups and downs. We will walk side by side and never be alone. That's what friend are for.

June holidays

Wow, its school holidays again!
Wanted to plan something for Iggy and his 2 little cousins (Shin E & W) but think these 2 girls are quite tight up with their own activities.

Also I am working night this month, a little tough to manage the time. Plus Mum is going for her 1st chemo next Thursday and her new maid is still not in yet.
Have to send Jean over to help up occasionally and hopefully she can guide the new maid what to do if she come after mum chemo.

Really hope this new maid will have some chemistry with the family that things will work out well this time. She seems a little quite but hopefully she is smart.

Iggy is sleeping over Mum house today. Phebe and Cookie will be happy coz they can have all mummy attention. No need to fight with Iggy for mummy's love....hahhaha!

But girls, dont be happy too fast, the little monster coming home tomorrow!!!!

My little prayer today

Dear Lord,
I would like to express my gratitude to you for all the blessing from you to me for the past 41 years. Thank for not giving me up but shower me with even more of your love and blessing.
I thank you for what i am and what I have today.

Thank you, Lord, for your many promises of protection. Mum had a smooth operation in April and she will be receiving her 1st chemo treatments this coming Thursday and in another 4 month. I am continuing to pray and ask that you would put a hedge of protection around her. Protect her spirits, body, mind and emotions from any kind of evil or harm. Please continue to let her have faith in you that she will go thru these sessions with least side effect and to overcomes it easily.
We trust God you will give the doctor wisdom to plan and decide the appropriate treatments for her.

Lord please let mum open her heart and be happy. Let her see what you want her to be and listen to you wisdom.

Please do let the new maid who will be coming to work for her next week the ability and capabilities to take care of her and the kids as well as the house work. Lord I pray you put some chemistry in this new maid to be able to gel into the family very fast and the kids will like her. Please let her have patient and know how to deal with mum.

I would like to pray for dad, jimmy and iggy too. Please do have faith in them like you have in me and bless them like you bless me. Give them the desire to follow you.

I also pray for ashley's mum and dad that you will too give them the desire to follow you.

I pray Lord, you will encicle my family with protection.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Thankful

Father,
Thank you for the countless blessing you shower on me and my family. There are no words i can speak that are sincere enough , deep enough, or rich enough to express my gratitude.

I pray God continue to heal mum and cover her with your precious blood. Your blood is powerful and can provide great healing and protection. I claim for speedy recovery after the operation.
God is our healer. We declare for victory. In Jesus precious name we pray and claim,
Amen.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Mum finally get the breast operated. Thank god the op was very successful. She is now resting at home and still learning how to handle the drainage bottle currently attached to her.
She will need to do 1 set of simple exercise once a day and try best not to move too much on the left arm. She will need to take EXTRA care of her left arm from now on.

Her next doctor appt will be on May 6. Doctor will then give us a full review/report of her condition and recommend what treatment to do moving forward.....

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life" Matthew 6:27

Father,
You shape my worries into prayers.
You know every outcome.
I dont, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about what i can't control. Set my mind free from this useless cycle. If I should do something, help me do it. If there's nothing I can do, then let me rest in knowing prayer is enough.
I trust in You and Your love, but i still struggle with the uncertainty of life, especially when it comes to my family. Help me place them in Your hands, moment by moment.

Amen.

Cookie - My little baby girl

I was SHOCK when Janet reminded me that Cookie should be 5 yrs old this year.
Came back and checked my record.....Oh dear, that's right! I bought her in 2004!!!!

I keep thinking she is still my little baby girl..., the most ard 3 yrs plus.
Well, in the eyes of a mother, a baby is always a baby....

So now Phebe is 10 and Cookie is 5............want to make a guess what I am thinking now...????

Peace of mind......

PEACE OF MIND
If you were to ask your neighbor, 'What would give you peace of mind?' He/She might tell you, 'A vacation in Bermuda!' or 'An extra $$$ would give me peace!', or 'A new Ferrari would make me content!'

But going places – and getting stuff – is usually a temporary solution ...

Peace of mind rarely comes from getting more stuff.
Getting more stuff usually leads to wanting even more stuff!
Peace of mind starts with being grateful for what we have right now.

GRATITUDE is POWER
When we are thankful for what we have - for the friends we have, and for the things we've got, we attract more good people and good things!
People who always complain about what they DON'T HAVE, stay stuck. Complainers attract more things to complain about!
It is a law of life. It's hard to explain, but you can observe it around you. We get more of what we dwell upon.

That's why all the spiritual masters have taught the same lesson ..
'Start by being thankful. Be happy with what you have now, and more will come your way.'

It's practical advice.
Every time you say a silent 'thank you' you become more peaceful – and more power. ...

My Fear.....

Phebe vomited again today!!
It happened yesterday morning and today one seems worse. I also found a little blood stain in her poo.

Try to get some information from internet. found the term "colitis" means inflammation of the colon (lower bowel). Colitis is a complicated condition and there are many possible causes. The condition is associated with soft stools or diarrhoea and is extremely commonly seen in small animal practice. As the problem progresses there are often further signs such as mucus (a slimy, jelly like substance) or blood in the stools. In the most severe cases of colitis there may be a reddish brown diarrhoea, vomiting and in the worst cases, dehydration leading to collapse.

My heart keep sinking as I read but think she is not the severe kind coz she still quite "active".
Anywhere, I need to watch her closely and feed her only plain fish + vege and lots of water. Hope she recover soon......

Please pray for Phebe.... Thanks!

New Puppy???

I was at Pet Safari this afternoon while waiting to pick up Iggy from school.
Saw so many puppies and one of them reminded me of FAT.
I was there watching that Shih Tze and all the good old memories of FAT keep coming back.....

So tempted to buy but it's a him.
Anyway I think Jimmy will "Kill" me if I bought it home but my nieces will be very HAPPY!

My Chinese Astrology Forcast and Outlook for 2009

Dunno when i am also into this but think that is becoz the current economy siutation really make me feel insecure.

Generally the overview is - this is a moderate year for me amd I have to pay close attention to my health and to be alert for any potential health troubles.

I went for my follow up checkup in Jan with Dr Fong Yan Kit, who is an Urologist. Report is good.
My next follow up breast memo checkup is today. Memmograns result is normal but Ultra Sound shows 2 nodule on right breast which was not shown in my last checkup in year 2008.
Although the report said these have benign features and no clinically significant lesion is seen in either breast but my doctor would like to put me under "observation", and to come back again for another altra sound test in 3 mths time.

I went thru my memmo and Ultra report since 2001, there was one cyst found on my right breast then but nothing shown on 2004 report. It shown up agian in my 2007 report but not 2008 and then agian in 2009. Strange!!!!

So, do you think the forcast is quite true or me being suspicious? Sometime is good not to read too much of these Astrology, not very healthly I think.....

Whatever it is, let's wait and see what's the next report will say.

Meanwhile I am just going to be happy and spent tgreat times with my family, especially my cheeky little boy.

Shin Na

"Time and the business of everyday living can make us forget a lot of important things – we let the mundane tasks of daily life get in the way of even thinking about the people we love, especially those who are gone or live far away, but sadly, even those who live in the same house with us."

“It not the years in your life, but the life in your years”

The above was extracted from Shin's blog.
I need this to remind myself how fortunate I am to have my family and friends around me.
I must learn to appreciate life and STOP complaining!!!

I think all of us are very lucky compare to many others. Think agian - your family and Financial crisis, which is more important to you?
For me, my family come 1st. I am still the richest people in the world so long my family is with me and we are all healthy. The crisis will only make me have lesser $$ in my bank.

What is your choice?

What a busy day!

Today is my 1st day of work after a long break of 11 days CNY holidays!
Suppose to work 7pm instead of 3pm but Pauline requested to change shift with me this week.
So my schedule was a little rush.

Woke up ard 0710 to prepare sandwich for Jimmy to bring to work. Next prepare the ingredients to cook Pumpkin and brocolli soup for Iggy's breakfast. Read Sunday paper while Iggy is having his breakfast and then bring him to NTUC for some grocery shopping.

Started to cook lunch for Iggy and Jean and preparing his lunch box ard 9.30am. Shower and get changed at 10.30am and then bring iggy to school at 11am.

After sending my little boy to his class at 11.35am, I went down to 1st floor to do my pedicure. Went straight to work after the pedi. Reached office ard 2.15pm and start my work for the day..........

It's 7.05pm now. 4 hrs more before I can log off to my home sweet home!!!

This Lunar New Year is making me very tired!

I think i am getting old.. I am feeling super tired these few days.
Went to Jimmy's sis house for re-union dinner on Sunday. Followed by another dinner the next day at mum's place and then again to Jimmy's sis place. Again going to sis house on Tuesday. Straight 3 days!!!

Even Iggy's know how to say " go gu gu house" when the taxi on TPE turning to Rivervale exits!
Eat and eat and eat.... till i had headache today!

Hope to get some rest over the next few days before returning to work. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............